I offer no apoligies for what you see, read or hear on this blog.
And so the night wears on…. leaving me ever so blind. If even the sun can’t shine through these clouds what hope does the moon and her companions up above. desperation setting in… My days becoming more difficult to bear…. the nights even worse. The only thing i hold on to is this tattered photograph of us. one day even that will fade. what will i do then?
All i keep seeing is your face in her reflection…
Will this dream end? Or am i even alive….
Can I even call this living if it’s not with you?
Loneliness is taking on a whole new meaning. now even the stars have abandoned me….
Today I woke up covered in sand. The winds have been relentless and their fury only surpassed by the heat that threatens to suffocate me. More and more this wreckage is being transformed into a mere desert. The earth trying desperately to erase the horrors that have occurred here….
This was my mistake…..
How….. How did we end up here?
I scrub my skin raw… Anything to leave this wretched stench behind. Regret sinks in the second I place the money on the nightstand. I know that you are keeping our bed warm till I return.
At my darkest, I have seen the light. I’ll turn over a new leaf, this I swear…..
Miserable, I sit, stunned by the dreams that cloud my mind…..
That night… When I truly felt alive…
The trail of tulips I left leading you to me… The knot in my chest growing as you walked up the stairs.. Making sure the ring was where I left it.. My heart beating knowing full well that tomorrow
Might never come….
But tomorrow did come… And your love kept me alive… I found hope…
Today… The wreckage has torn that hope from my body… If my heart still beats, well …I don’t feel it…… Today„„ I’ll let the numbness swallow me whole…..
Now all I can do is sit here in this wasteland…………
Our bodies drenched in sweat…
Your nails dig deep into my back…..
A soft moan escapes your lips…
And another… And another…
Until they start to synchopate with my thrusting…
My hands glide over soft, Wet Skin..
I don’t know where my body ends and yours begins…
At this point we are one and the same….
Your moans begin a crescendo…
The louder they get, the deeper they pull me into you…..
I wake to the smell of cheap liquor and stale cigarette smoke….
You see the money on the dresser next to you…
You turn and whisper……
“my dear will you stay today?” ….
The sun sits there… Always teasing me…. Always comfortably hid behind his veil… No longer do the flowers reach for the sun… They know they’ve been abandoned… When will be smart enough to make that same realization….
I’ve wandered down these cold and lonely streets…littered with trash… newspapers.. magazines… empty cans….. All blowing through these streets with me, tossing…. Turning.. blown from one corner to the next….all of us the only remnants of a world now dead….
The beating inside my chest…the pain of my heavy breathing …. The sound of my cries….my only proof that im still alive…. These tears weren’t meant for one man alone… my eyes seem to channel the tears of those now long gone… Only I know these are all my own… My punishment for forgetting the sound of your voice…..
A soundless scream exits my mouth….
NO! ….PLEASE…….no……….no……..
I stand before Blackened earth…
My Home….Our Home, lies scorched ……
flattened by the fire that rained down….
The flames still smoldering where we used to lie in bed ….
I wonder if my tears will ever be enough to put out this fire…..
Where……ARE…..You……..??
Only our fireplace remains…….
Our fireplace where we spent so many nights curled up
Tonight I lay alone….. curled up …..
Only an empty driveway before me ……
I drive….. The world around me turning in slow motion…
only one thing on my mind…. is She alright ??…. is She safe??…
Smoldering wreckage fills the road…I’m forced to use the sidewalks…
racing through the shattered remains of this city….
making sure every second gets me closer to you…..
The blazing fires give the city an orange glow..
The embers rise…. rise only to fight against the falling rain….
The windshield is covered in ash yet i know,
no amount of rain can wash this all away……
Faster……FASTER…….please ……Be Safe ……PLEASE!!!!
